16.3.25
Before travelling to Krakow and Israel in January, I knew I needed to organise some extra help with mum. I received a wwoofing request from Sofia, a young woman from Rome, who was open to help care for mum while I was away. Seeing that the house would be very quiet, she organised another wwoofer — Sebastian from France — to also stay and help out.
Sofia ended up staying a whole month, and as a goodbye gift, she wrote a record of her experience with mum.
I found it very touching and insightful, so I'm including it here.
'I met Marysia through Jane, and Jane through a platform called WWOOF (World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms).
When you sign up for WWOOF you would expect to do gardening, mulching, pruning, weeding, planting etc. for a few hours per day, in exchange for food and accommodation.
But we know Jane is a bit unconventional, quirky, and likes to do things in a more creative and human way. Therefore, the woofing experience at her place is customised according to your skills and preferences.
Being an eclectic person myself, I got to do many different things: a little bit of gardening, preserving seasonal fruit and veg, cooking, archival work and ‘social work’.
‘Social work’ includes visiting Jane’s mum Marysia at the Aged Care facility just across the road and spend time with her, making sure she is warm, comfortable and well-fed.
Marysia is 101 years old and a survivor of Auschwitz. The first time Jane introduces me and my fellow wwoofer Sebastian to Marysia she is very smiley and reasonably alert, surely happy to meet us – especially Sebastian, to whom she would keep sending loud kisses with her lips.
I wonder if I’ll be able to connect with her and how?
My own grandparents died when I was really young and were basically never part of my life. On top of that, Marysia also appears to me as an historical figure, and I feel slightly intimidated by her knowledge of humankind.
However, Jane instantaneously makes us feel at ease. She patiently shows us where everything is, how to heat up Marysia’s eggs and soup, how to make her specialty tea, how to take her outside and how to get her attention when she’s asleep – in other words, how to take care of her.
‘It’s the cycle of life’ Jane says, ‘she’s like a baby’. In fact, Marysia is settled into a daily pattern of sleeping, feeding and playing or praying. I only say “praying” because the stillness of her body and the way she often rests her eyes reminds me of meditation or some sort of mental prayer. But also because of the way she holds her hands when laying on her chair, as if she’s praying.
As time goes by, 'social work' becomes a crucial part of my WWOOFING experience, particularly when Jane is away for two weeks, presenting her short film about Marysia in the context of the exhibition ‘Echoes of Hope: Art and Memory of the Holocaust’ in Kraków.
During that time, I start visiting Marysia regularly and by myself in the afternoon. Two, three, four times a week for a few hours, during the month (and more) I spent at Jane’s home.
Helping out makes me feel fulfilled and that I am part of the family, even if it’s temporary. Marysia is very popular and has many people wishing to visit her besides me, both relatives and friends. I learn a lot from them as well, especially from Dayoung who’s from Korea (but now lives in Melbourne) and started wwoofing at Jane’s several years ago. She has cared for Marysia many times while Jane has been away, and over time had gained enough skills to work in the Aged care sector herself. I learnt many things from Dayoung - about Marysia’s past and her echoes of hope, about her personality – how shy and tidy she can be, how she likes to be called – and her taste – how she likes honey and has a sweet tooth.
Slowly I developed my own relationship with Marysia. I do my best to actively listen to her needs and become more in tune with her. To be honest, I didn’t have to try too hard, as she knows what she wants and can be very expressive about it! She would cough hard when cold and in need of a scarf, she would try and stretch her legs if she wanted her chair reclined. I learnt that she likes her tea very hot, her hair to be brushed softly and her napkin to be folded tidily.
I enjoy playing detective, looking for clues to understand her body and mind. Occasionally I notice that something is disturbing her and I’m not sure what it is. Even though it’s not rocket science, at times I feel like I am navigating in the darkness.
Sometimes when we are together, I wonder where her mind is, as she appears to be in this meditative state, similar to sleep and dreams.
One thing never changes throughout the month I spent with her: she loves holding hands. I like to think that she especially loves to hold MY hand. Often, while we are sitting next to each other watching live tennis, and without any warning, she grabs my hand with such intention and holds it close to her body for hours.
That is why I make sure my hands are always warm, just in case!
Holding hands is ultimately the most beautiful and powerful way in which we connect. I can sense she feels happy and safe and likewise I feel moved that I am participating in that feeling.
I also think of how unreal and absurd the ordinary is — how I, a 28 years old Italian girl, travelled all the way to Melbourne, Australia, to take good care of a 101 year old lady who has survived not only the Holocaust but also a global pandemic.
Life is life, I think to myself, no matter how it’s lived.
I am reminded that the ability of finding joy in the most ordinary and simple things is what makes us feel content.
Love from Sofia from Rome'
At the Aged Care place
Sofia, me and Sebastian, in the kitchen
a heartfelt note
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